I Must Apologize, Beg Forgiveness

It was rather sudden.

I stumbled into the world of WordPress and blogging in late June. It was rather sudden. My first hope was to have a means of expressing myself regarding the limits of human knowledge and its impact on how we behave in our world—principally, how we perceive and treat each other. In some measure, I have kept at this mission but I have also spread into other endeavors, like a drop of oil on a calm pool of water. I had no idea that I would come up, out of absolutely nowhere that I knew about, with pieces of fiction. I did have a sense that I had a body of poetry that I labored over in the ’70s and ’80s and that I might revisit; I didn’t realize that words and verses that bent my young mind double then would resolve themselves with ease when viewed with a mature eye and the experience of writing concise emails and dispassionate lab procedures for over thirty years. I didn’t realize that, to accomplish my principle goal of de-complicating some aspects of science and history, I would spend so much time scurrying down rat-holes in a labyrinth of said spaces, ready for exploration at my fingertips, and that finding delicious morsels of responsible, supporting information would result in linking so much of the factual material back to what I was saying—for your further edification, if you chose to self-edify, and for my peace of mind, as I would never want to simply state something, however reasonable, without supporting it in some way.

While I’ve been busy doing this (and I’ve posted something almost every day for a little over the past two months), I have found other writers that I enjoy reading, other people who are seized by a need to articulate their inspirations or face their demons or explain the worlds in which they study and work and live and play and enjoy those who are important to them. Many of these folks have been kind enough to like some of what I’ve written and I’ve responded by “following” almost all of them in a sort of homage to their kindness and their work (side-note: “following” just seems creepy, but that is the lingo social media thrusts upon us and so I do it and write the word, although I am not physically doing so with anything other than my i.p. connection and my eyes that see your words appear over huge distances on this monitor poised before me).

But I can’t read everything by everyone I follow. I can’t! And I don’t even spend as much time reading the posts that the WP editors believe are the best of what is here. And I can’t poke about in the billions (?) of entries by the millions of writers who represent themselves here. And forget about all the other blog sites—I know they’re out there and I discovered really well-done items on some of them, which I then link to my own humble offering. And I know no one can see all of this stuff or read it all or think about it all. No one can spend the time some of the posts take to comprehend them. I still am reeling over the fact that Dr. Tao, one of the greatest contemporary mathematics minds in the world, has a bustling, brimming blog here on WP, and I stumble across other astonishing minds and phenomenal entries, randomly, as I flit down new-found hidey holes and come up with another cheek-full of tasty nuggets packed with nutritious facts.

To all of you who I do not visit sufficiently often and do not “like” as much as I should—as your follower, I have a responsibility to each of you and I am letting you down—I apologize, I beg your forgiveness, I am sorry. I hope I do a better job and don’t think it’s even possible. As I “follow” more of you—and as you do the same in some geometric increase of responsibility always expanding upwards and outwards—I just want you to know that I would if I could. It’s not personal, it’s just an uneasy balance between what I would like to do and what is possible. I know you’re all seized by the same kind of compulsion as I am—think, think, think, write, write, write, publish, publish, publish—just do these and we’ll meet whenever possible out here in the field of information, shared freely by generous minds.

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Author: makingsenseofcomplications

I have an academic background in literature and, separately, science. My career has been in industry in positions of increasing responsibility assisting in the drug development process - one of the most amazing intellectual pursuits of the human mind, among many other amazing intellectual pursuits. I am interested in films, philosophy, history, art, music, science (obviously), literature (also obviously), some video gaming, human behavior, and many other topics. I wish there was more time in every day because we have a world that is full of amazing phenomena that are considered too superficially by too many. Although my first and last names are fictional, I think I believe in all of the stuff you read here, although I retain the right in perpetuity of changing my thoughts about anything written herein.

12 thoughts on “I Must Apologize, Beg Forgiveness”

  1. Follower’s guilt is a real thing. I don’t want to feel like I *must* drop in on all the people I follow, or even all of the people who follow me because I don’t want to run the risk of becoming insincere. But if I don’t pop into their blogs every once in a while I feel like I’m ignoring them or something. Argh….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We all do what we can and what we have time for. No worries, enjoy life don’t stress about not reading blogs or posts or whatever. If you can, great, it’s not meant to be an obligation, but a pleasure.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m especially glad that you pointed out that you are not physically following any one. Whew! Had me concerned there for a moment!
    I think about that often too, how much of a follower am I if I can only glance at certain pieces? I typically still choose to like it because I am in the least slightly familiar with the author so I feel that in itself is worthy of my appreciation and consideration for their efforts.
    I adore words, what we created to put forth thoughts and ideas, feelings and love. I think our humble offerings here at WordPress are absolutely and amazingly vast, but as you mentioned, there’s a big big world out there with lovely offerings as well. Would I like to read every single one? Absolutely. I’m sad that I cant.
    I enjoyed your post here very much

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Or perhaps is more like this: when those in our life of reality do not pay attention to us or ignore our literary needs, our online world occasionally acknowledges us and says., “Yes, thank you for your words. They made a difference in my life today…”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. At this point, all I depend on for my “in real life” attention needs is that Emma, my wonderful cat, will curl up in my lap or in my armpit (when I’m reclining) and enjoy my warmth… and I will enjoy that she will sleep soundly and that, perhaps, I have improved her sleep in some way 🙂


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